The Marriage with the Sun-God: COVID-19 Edition
- Nemaste Nepal
- Jan 10, 2021
- 6 min read
Written by: Niva Shrestha
Translated by: Anjelica Shrestha
Original date of publication: August 24th 2020
Original Title: कोभिड-१९ सन्त्रासमाझ क्यानाडामा छोरीलाई ‘गुफा’ राख्दा...
बिदेस मा बस्नुभएका नेपालीहरु ले नेपाली संस्कृति लोप हुन नदिन को लागि र अर्को पुस्ता ले थाहा पाउन को लागि विभिन्न प्रयासहरु गरेको देखिन्छ जसमध्य नेपाल को संस्कृति अनुसार एउटा नेवारी संस्कृति पनि हो जसमा छोरीहरुलाई उमेर अनुसार को कर्म चालिएको कुरामा गुएल्फ निबासी श्रीमती निभा श्रेष्ठ को नेपालीमा लेखिएको लेखलाई वहा को अनुमति लिएर अंग्रेजी मा अनुबाद गरेकी छु.
For many, living away from home can make it difficult to connect to our roots. However, there are various approaches taken in hopes that we do not forget our stories and our traditions, and to pass on our personal traditional knowledge from one generation to another.
In one of the indigenous communities of Nepal, the daughters of the Newari community undergo various unique traditions to celebrate their youth and coming of age. A particular experience known as “Bahara Tayegu” – is beautifully written by our Niva Shrestha in “Nepal Touch” to which I have attempted to translate into English in “Nemaste” with her consent. I hope that you all give it a read – and perhaps dive into a rich history and folklore of the Newari culture.
It has been seven years since we came to Canada. However, despite being away from home, we have still been following our own Nepali culture and customs here in Canada. This year, we were hoping to travel back home, and give our daughter a gift of Newari tradition: Bahara Tayegu. The term, “Bahara Tayegu” means “to put in a cave” in Newari. In Nepali bhasa, it is known as “Gufa” which means a cave.
We wanted our daughter to have her “Gufa” in the capital city, Kathmandu, with all of our family and friends back home. However, due to COVID-19 and its restrictions, it was not possible to do so. After March 10th, 2020, the lockdown had started due to the pandemic, and that is why we decided to perform the rites here in Canada.
During this time, our well-known Guruji Naresh Badracharya, had come to Canada to perform Ihi rites for our younger daughter - Sichu. Canadian Newa Guthi, had organised the Ihi ceremony for twelve girls at the Pashupatinath Temple in Brampton. Along with the parents of the girls, few other close relatives gathered for the ceremony.
All this time, you must be wondering what is this “Gufa” that I am talking about – apart from its literal translation. I had my “Gufa” when I was eight – young as my daughter. In Nepal, we have relatives and friends come together and have a grand banquet! Away from home, it is done in a limited way – especially while considering the pandemic. Usually, “Gufa” takes twelve days, however, due to the time constraint, we had it shortened to four days.
Personally, I believe that regardless of where you are, you should always follow your culture – adjust the traditions and make time for it!
For my fellow readers, I will present you a story about what I have come to understand about Newari culture in our “Nepal Touch.” In Nepal, there are various communities who all have their own unique religion, culture, rituals, and festivals. One of these communities is known as the Newari community which reside mostly in the Kathmandu valley.
There are various rites that performed from birth to death by the native Newari community of the Kathmandu valley. These rites include Nawaran, Pasni, Vratvandha, Ihi, Bahara Tayegu, marriage, Jankwo and death rites to celebrate the different stages of one’s life.
Of these, Ihi and Bahara Tayegu/ Bahara hold a personal significance as they are only done for daughters – known as the first and second marriages, respectively. Ihi is usually done at the age of six, and Bahara around the ages 8-13.
Why is Bahara performed?
Bahara is performed to celebrate the daughter’s coming of age and her youth. This custom needs to occur during an auspicious day which is decided after consulting with an astrologer. It is usually started before girls get their first menstruation. If they get their first menstruation before Bahara, then they still need to follow all the Bahara rituals. During the Bahara, girls stay in a pitch dark room, where even a ray of sun can not enter, without seeing any men or boys for 12 days.
During the first day, it is customary for the daughter and the mother to take a nice bath and put on clean clothes. Then one puts a Sukunda (oil lamp) outside the Bahara room, alongside a short ritual of offerings. After this is completed, the daughter can enter the Bahara room.
From this day onwards, the house is considered “unholy” for 11 days. The family does not eat food that is considered “unholy” such as onion, fish, and meat and the daughter is not permitted to take anything that has salt.
On the fourth day, rice flour (ko) and mustard oil (chika) are placed into the daughter’s hand for “ko chika saikigu.”
This is for the purpose of cleansing. In ancient times, there was no electricity and thus, oil lamps were used. Since the Bahara occurred in a closed room, the smoke from the oil lamp forms residue in those living in the room. To remove this residue, “ko chika” is used. The daughter is asked to cleanse her face thrice a day until the final day using “ko chika”
On this day, it is customary to have a friend in the room as well. During this time, friends and relatives come to entertain the daughter. They play, dance and have fun! From the fourth day onwards until 10th day, the relatives especially aunts bring roasted maize, wheat, almonds, corn, gram and other pure nuts for the daughter to eat to give her required protein and minerals.
Baharakhyak: Newari Folklore
Along with her friends, “Baharakyak” is kept in a corner of the room. Baharakyak is a doll that is made out of cotton or cloth. It is a ritual that every food that enters the Bahara room is first offered to the Baharakyak, and then to the Bahara girl.
There is actually an interesting story about the significance of Baharakyak. According to the legend, a daughter from a poor family was kept in the Bahara room for Gufa – however, none of her friends came to play with her. But, the neighbour’s daughter would always come to give her company. One day, the Bahara girl's mother was surprised to find the neighbour’s daughter playing with her daughter in the Bahara room, and playing at her own home at the same time!
Anxiously, the mother asked for the identity of the girl who was playing with her daughter in the Bahara room.
In response, the girl said:
“I am a good kyak. Your daughter had no one to play with – so I came as the neighbour’s daughter to look out for her. From now on, put me in any corner of the room and offer me food before you eat!”
And that is how the tradition of Baharakyak came to be! Eventually, on the 12th day, the daughter is finally taken out of the room. By default, Baharakyak is taken out first – and then, everyone cleanse or purify the house, and gets bathed. Meanwhile, the daughter is dressed and decorated as a beautiful bride. Alongside her mother, she is brought outside of the house and is first shown the sunlight in twelve days – which is known as “Surya Darshan.”
Following “Surya Darshan,” the sukunda, sinhamuh, Jwalanhyakam, Ganesha, Ashtamatrika and Surya are also worshipped. Then, the thakali (the eldest member of the family) gives the daughter vermillion to put on her forehead, while flowers and offerings are given to Lord Surya (The God of the Sun).
In Hindu culture, applying vermillion is one of the acts of marriage. According to Newari tradition, Bahara Tayegu is considered a second marriage for girls. Just wearing the vermilion cannot be called the marriage with the sun.
When one wears a vermillion during Bahara, it symbolizes their integration into the society as well as their willingness to bear and fulfill their responsibilities as an active citizen of that community. At the same time as the ritual, the daughter holds a Sinhamu and Jwolanhyaka, and is taken to a nearby temple of Lord Ganesh for worship. When returning home from the temple, omens are given as prosperity to the whole family. Then, among family and friends, there will be a large gathering – basically a huge banquet to celebrate the coming of age of their daughter!
Why Bahara Tayegu?
Nowadays, due to the lack of time, Bahara Tayegu has been shortened from twelve to four days – and even to three and one day! Oftentimes, the idea that a child is kept in a dark room for twelve days is misinterpreted. And while it may seem so, it is important to understand where these traditions came from – what are their significance and their story?
It is common knowledge that hormonal changes occur once a girl reaches puberty. Back then, there were no special sex education for young girls – thus a way to educate them about these changes happened through Bahara Tayegu. This is why the daughter is kept in a room for twelve days, so she can consult with her friends and aunts about her evolving body and the questions about what more is to come.
Original Article:
Shrestha, Niva. "कोभिड-१९ सन्त्रासमाझ क्यानाडामा छोरीलाई ‘गुफा’ राख्दा..." Nepal Touch. 2020
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