What Nepali means to me

I want to preface this by saying the following is based on experience. The purpose of this article is to share, not demean, spread negativity, or hate.

Every country is great in its own right.

“Nepal?"

"Where’s that?"

"There’s a country between China and India?"

"Oh, Mount Everest is in Nepal? Cool!”

It is an odd feeling: no one really knows where you are from, but then again, why should they? What is so special about Nepal? We have a cool flag, nice. We have Mount Everest! Nice! We have momo, but those are just dumplings, are they not?

Yes, it is ignorant, but is anyone else really to blame?

Nepal lacks many of the characteristics that make a country great. Frankly, as a country, Nepal has contributed nearly nothing to the world. What do they provide? Rice? They are not a world Superpower, not even close. It feels as if nothing good goes to nor leaves Nepal. The last time I remember hearing about Nepal was when a devastating earthquake left the capital, Kathmandu, in shambles.

It was all over the news:

“Donate to Nepal!"

"Nepal needs help!"

"Help this dying third world country!"

It was odd. For the first time in more than seven years after leaving my country, the world around me cared about Nepal? Even my teacher, who did not fancy me, came up to me to give me her condolences.

She said to me, “Is your family okay?”

Blankly, I looked at her and said that they were without the slightest clue. Was my family okay? Who even is my family? Honestly, I did not care enough to pay attention.

Before I continue, let me explain myself. It is not that I had no idea about my relatives in Nepal - the faint memories were still present. For example, my uncle was a jokester who did not take life too seriously. I remember he used to knock on my head with his knuckles when I refused to study, which hurt - a lot. My aunt also had a great sense of humor - may be a bit too great - let me sip some beer around five years old.

These memories never faded, but that was the issue. Memories are just memories, something of the past. Something that can never fully answer what someone is like in the present.

Fortunately, there was some supplementation to this question. Now and then, I would have a quick phone call with my relatives when my parents asked me. Unfortunately, these phone calls almost always unfolded in nearly the same fashion:

“Hi, hope you are well. How is everything? Okay, bye.”

If I felt extra lively, I would throw in a joke or two, but that was the extent of it. It is no secret that long-distance relationships fizzle over time - and to me, this was just another one of those cases. At some point, I felt such disconnection that the memories nearly felt like figments of the past. But, frankly, if not for those phone calls, I would have probably forgotten my relatives entirely.

But enough about my experiences, back to the topic at hand. Nepal, why should anyone care? Why should I even care that I am Nepali? What does it do for me? It reminds me that I am in a better place than my family and friends back at home. It just reminds me that I should study hard, get good grades and become a great, big person!

I promise I am thinking hard. I am trying my best to think of what it means to be Nepali, but I can't. There is such a widely known and rich history of other countries, India and China for example. They are the two countries that sandwich Nepal. They only really make up a measly third of the global population. Through sheer size and population, they make a mark on the world. Their culture, stories and traditions are well known and celebrated. Nepal does not have that luxury. At times, it even feels like Nepal is just an off-brand version of China or India.

At this point, you might be asking, so what? Nepal is not the only small and insignificant country in the world. This would be true. There isn't a conclusion here. But these are diaries, so why does it need to make sense in the first place? I'm not writing an English essay am I?

Regardless, here is one for you.

Nepal is not the flashiest, wealthiest, or even the most poverty-stricken country, but it is where I was born and spent over six years of my life. It is where my parents spent more than half their lives. It is where my family lives. The disconnect I feel is because of the ignorance I carry, but to no one's fault but my own. Hence, I joined Nemaste: in hopes of mending the connection that I feel is nearly broken. Maybe learning more about Nepali culture, history and people will help me learn more about myself.

Maybe.

Ten years from now, I hope to remember the faces of all the family and friends I met back in Nepal, but that is a story for another day.

Cheerio,

________